One of the most important things you can do to make your
relationship work is to talk about it openly and honestly and ensure
that dialogue is continuous, but it's not always easy. Being able to
share your feelings with your partner about everything both big and
small can be tough, but we have some tips to help you out. Read on to
find out how to be more upfront in your relationship.
Start with the small stuff
If you can't talk about the minor issues (whose turn it is to do the
dishes, why the cap is always left off the toothpaste), how will you
ever be able to broach the bigger problems? If you're having trouble
talking about your relationship with ease, before you launch into
something major, start with discussing some of the smaller things and
work your way up to being more comfortable talking about anything else
that comes up.
How it helps: We've all heard the saying "practice
makes perfect" and it's true! The more you do something, the better
you'll get at it, so making an effort to speak up about little blips on
your relationship radar screen will help you be more open about the
bigger issues.
Talk in neutral territory
If you don't live together, talking at one of your places isn't fair
because one of you will have home court advantage. If you do live
together, you're too used to the environment to really focus on what's
being discussed or give it the attention it deserves. So our advice is
to talk about anything that needs discussing in totally neutral
territory.
- Go to a coffee shop or a pub you both feel comfortable at.
- Go for a walk and talk as you stroll around the neighborhood.
- Talk at a nearby park just to get out of the house.
Discuss, don't accuse
When something in your relationship is bothering you, it can be very
easy to immediately go on the offensive and start making accusations.
This is not the best tactic and will upset your partner. This then
equals the beginnings of a full-on blow out -- NOT productive in the
least. Before you say anything at all, think about
how you're
going to say it. How are you going to phrase it? What tone of voice are
you going to use? These may not seem like important details but trust us
when we tell you they are. If you truly want to make headway and move
your relationship forward by being open and honest, than you cannot go
into attack mode. Be gentle, be tactful and above all, do not accuse
your man of anything. Simply state your case and explain how you feel.
Ideally your honesty will inspire him to open up to you in return and
you can move things forward together.
Don't be afraid to speak up
Ultimately, being open and honest with your guy about your
relationship means moving past any fear you have about what he might say
or think about whatever you're planning on bringing up. We know it's
hard, but the best thing you can do is be brave and trust that whatever
has become a sore spot in our relationship can (and will) be sorted out
after a calm and rational discussion.
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